Today.

I don't have any children of my own.  But I do have 12 beautiful, wonderful preschoolers that I get to spend my mornings with.  Today's events have been utterly heartbreaking.  I just keep thinking about how little and beautiful these children were.  The loss of any life is always hard, but when it's a child it's so much harder because you mourn what little of life they had, and the long life and dreams they'll never see.

And I hate how so many people used today's events to argue about gun control laws in our country.  Yes, something needs to be done, but arguing over it on Facebook and Twitter right after the news broke was inappropriate.  Well, I thought it was inappropriate at least.

We send so much hate to each other too often.  Where's the love?  Where's the support, especially after such a tragic event?  Can't we just have today to mourn the loss of children who no longer have a future and those adults who tried to protect them?  Just one day of focusing on what matters - friends, family, life, - instead of being at each other's throats trying to prove our points?

I'm thankful that I got to spend my morning surrounded by twelve  4-year olds.  I'm thankful that I got to hear them laugh and read them stories and hold their hands.

Sandy Hook, you are in my prayers and in my heart.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." - Mother Teresa

Note to Self.

Dear Self,

When you get that sad feeling, like you could cry at any second, you're really just tired.  Or getting sick.  Trust me on this one.

You should unplug more often.  Let "relaxing on the couch" be just that...not "sitting on the couch while working and emailing and sequencing yoga classes and lesson planning".  Your mind needs rest just as much as your body does.

Think before you speak - not just about what you say but how you say it - because despite your intentions sometimes your tone sounds really, well...snobby.

It's okay that you run out of steam - both physically and mentally - more quickly than others.  Being fragile is not a weakness, but not listening to your body is.

Working hard is important, but depending on God is more important. All the work in the world doesn't even come close to His ability to give you what you truly need.

Everything will work out.  It almost always does.  And if it doesn't?  Who cares.

Always remember to completely unplug the straightening iron before leaving the house because if you don't you'll spend all day wondering if you left it on.

It's okay that you're so close to your family.  It's not weird.  It's a gift.  Cherish it.

You need to start washing your jeans more.  It's pretty gross that you rarely do.

Watch more good movies.  It's good for you.

Love,
Z

Let Go.

Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold.
The holding of plans or dreams or expectations.
Let it all go.
Save your strength to swim with the tide.
The choice to fight what is here before you now
Will only result in struggle, fear
And desperate attempts to flea
From the very energy you long for.
Let it go.
Let it all go.
Flow with the grace that washed through your days
Whether you received it gently
Or with all your quills raised to defend against invaders.
Take this on faith:
The mind may never find the explanations that it seeks
But you will move forward nonetheless.
Let go
And the waves crest will carry you
To unknown shores
Beyond your wildest dreams or destinations.
Let it all go,
And find the place
Of rest, and peace, and certain transformation.


Be thankful today and always.

Happy Thanksgiving, yogis.

Om Shanti,
Z

Things I've Learned In the Last Week:

• Bad things really do come in 3's. It sucks.
• Even though I feel pretty defeated right now, I know that God won't give me anything that I can't handle.
• You have to learn to leave toxic people and environments behind you and not think twice about it.  Let go.
• Anger does not suit me well.
• It does, however, suit me well to be a kind and nice person to everyone, even (or should I say, especially) when they least deserve it.
• People and situations can really suck sometimes, but you have to keep on keepin' on and try not to lose your faith in humanity.
• Never, ever own a Nissan again. Ever.
• The people who step up and support you when you feel like you've hit rock bottom may really surprise.
• No matter how sh*tty life seems, things could always be worse.  Be appreciative for what you do have, and know that there is always something to be thankful for.

Om Shanti,
Z

If you want to become whole, let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight, let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything, give everything up.

Learning this, slowly but surely.

Current yoga class schedule is "under construction".  Stay tuned and thanks for your patience, support, and loving kindness.

Om Shanti,
Z

Don't judge a book by its cover, or a type of yoga by its teacher.

Often times, we are quick to judge.  Judge others, judge things, judge experiences.  We look at it, find something we don't like about it, and never really give it a shot.
I did this with Kundalini Yoga.  Before this weekend, I had taken exactly one Kundalini class in my lifetime, and I had determined that I hated it and it just wasn't for me.
Allow me to expand on my reasoning:
The one class I took was back last December whilst in the midst of Yoga Teacher Training.  I was perpetually exhausted. My body was tired. My mind even more tired.  The day we took our Kundalini class was a particularly rough day.  We had done Bikram the night before (hello 105* room and dehydration), and I'd had to "sleep" in the Yoga Barn the night before (i.e., very little sleeping, and a whole lot of tossing and turning).  We woke up and set up our mats as usual, ready for Kundalini.  In walks a lythe, egostic, and stuck up looking woman, with a turban over her hair, and an air of extreme arrogance about her.  Here I go with the judging again. Oy. Anyways, she set up her things, and proceeded to tell us about Kundalini Yoga and teach us a couple of kriyas (sequences in "normal" yoga terms).  She kept saying things about waking up the Kundalini at the base of our spines and not letting it escape from our third eye.  I was not amused or entertained. I was annoyed and angry and grouchy and tired.  After this terrible 3 hour experience, I felt sick and even more dehydrated and just overall BLAH.  I vowed that Kundalini Yoga was not for me, and that I would just leave it be.
Fast forward to 2 weekends ago.  My mom sent me a link to a local studio that was hosting a master class on "Healing your gut for the Holidays".  I was intrigued.  And then I saw those 2 daunting words.."Kundalini Yoga".  Oh boy, I thought, here we go.
After some thinking, I decided to do it.  I needed Continuing Education Credits anyways to keep up with my Yoga Alliance requirements, and it came at a reasonable price.  So I signed up and said "Jesus take the wheel".
Well, last Saturday I woke up a little too bright and early and not too stoked for this master class.  I had gone to a Halloween party the night before and was exhausted and not well rested. "Here we go again", I thought.
I walked into this new-to-me studio and immediately felt my negative thoughts go away.  It was a beautiful space and the people there were so warm and welcoming.  The teacher came in.  There was no arrogance or ego about her.  Only a warm, kind smile that immediately put me at ease.
She told us about herself and about Kundalini yoga (and made it sound a lot less kooky than I remembered) and began teaching us kriyas, chants, and meditations.
Let me say this, it is very rare for me to have an "emotional" reaction during my yoga practice.  I hear stories from or see fellow yogi friends having an emotional cleansing during their practices, such as crying during half-pigeon or savasana, or laughing joyously in upward bow, and I so rarely have this kind of reaction.  I always envied this in some ways, to feel so open and free during your practice that you can't help but cry or laugh.  Things have been a bit tense in certain aspects of my life lately, and I know I've been holding onto a lot of anger and resentment.  During a couple of the kriyas, I could feel myself tear up.  At one point we held Downward Facing Dog for 5 minutes, and she lovingly explained to us that holding this pose for longer than 2 minutes is a great way to release anger.  As I was holding it, arms shaking, shoulders aching, sweat dripping, I began to feel my heart clinch and get tight, and I all of a sudden felt a nice feeling of release and letting go.  I let go of some of my anger.  After another kriya, my entire body was shaking uncontrollably.  It was an incredible feeling, and one that I rarely get to experience.
I did leave feeling like I had been "wrung out", but that was a good feeling.  Clearly my body needed this practice, to release some of the toxicity I had been holding onto.  So I let it go. And I left feeling so much more open.
I have a whole new respect and appreciation for Kundalini Yoga.  In fact, I am ordering a book with different kriyas for different ailments/areas/healing/etc, and I plan on setting aside time each and every day to practice it and to meditate.  My body is clearly telling me I need to let go of some major sh*t.  So that's what I'm trying to do.
Had I not gone to this master class this weekend, I would have probably spent my whole life thinking Kundalini Yoga was some weird practice for crazies who are arrogant, because that's the impression I got from that first Kundalini class last December and from that teacher.
So please, if you go to a yoga class and don't quite connect with the teacher, don't give up, don't judge yoga as a whole.  Look around, explore different teachers and different studios and styles of yoga, and you just may find that yoga can heal you in ways you couldn't imagine.
Om Shanti,
Z

Ramblings On: A Bad Yoga Practice

Some days, my yoga practice comes so natural. I move through vinyasas with ease, I love feeling the sweat roll down my face and back, my breathing is on point, and my mind is focused.  Other days, my yoga practice just plain sucks. Today was one of those days.  I’ve been nursing a painful left rotator cuff since last week and today was the worst of it.  My chaturangas hurt so bad, it was so ridiculous.  My mind was wandering. My breath was off. I kept looking at my phone, wanting time to just hurry up.  It was bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. At the end of my practice, I was so angry with myself and my body.

But, then I realized that that is part of the beauty of yoga.  It shows us where all of our imbalances are.  Our imbalances in our life may show up as an imbalance in our body in the form of an injury or shortened breath.  Yoga teaches us to work through all the junk, all the clutter, and get to the core of our being.  The core of our True Self.   

So, in the end, I know that good practice, bad practice, yoga is the greatest teacher I have ever known, and I learn something new about myself every single day that I step onto my yoga mat. It really is a beautiful thing.

Namaste.

108 Days

On September 1, I started a 108 day journey.  For the next 108 days, I will be practicing yoga, pranayama, and meditation. Every. Single. Day. No matter what. Even if it's just 15 minutes! My personal practice had really fell by the way side with all the teaching I was doing and I could tell, not only physically (I got squishy...haha), but also mentally (I got depressed and angry).  It's only 6 days in and I already feel a lot better.  I'm happier, I'm more even keeled with my reactions to life, and I've cleaned up my diet a lot.  I'm trying to eat better, because all the hard work of yoga and meditation and pranayama won't do jack if I'm stuffing my mouth with soda and twinkies! So, I've cut out all sugary drinks, processed foods, and refined sugars, and I'm just trying to eat as close to the Earth as possible.  I must say, I already feel a lot better, too! My yoga practice is more energetic and focused because I have the energy to sustain a practice without going through any crazy blood sugar crashes.  I've been sleeping a lot better, too.  This is big for me.  I'm a big time insomniac, so for me to say that I'm sleeping well, that's big.  I know that these 108 days will make me a better teacher, too.  Like I've been told by my teachers, and like I tell my students, your practice is your true teacher.  I'm looking forward to following through with this (I'm the queen of starting something and then losing interest..) so that I can feel a real sense of accomplishment.  Plus, why would I quit something that's making me feel so great already?!  Time to go spend 90 minutes with my mat. Namaste, ya'll.

Om Shanti,
Z

Lesson learned.

 Found this gem today:

25 Things I've Learned in My Twenties

Had a good chuckle, a few shutters of recognition, and many nods of agreement.
Live and learn, ya'll. Live and learn.

Om shanti,
Z

Something funny to brighten your evening!

Please. Please look at this link.

http://www.yisforyogini.com/2012/08/yoga-teacher-training-the-animated-guide.html

I laughed so hard at this. So true! And makes me want to go back to yoga school all over again!
:)
Om Shanti,
Z

One. Day. At. A. Time.

No matter what the anxiety or problem may be, taking things “one day at a time” is almost always the answer. Take a deep breath, and take it one step at a time. You'll get there.
Om Shanti,
Z

Grateful heart.

I take too much for granted. We all do, I think. I take for granted the fact that I have a roof over my head, keeping me warm and safe. I take for granted that I always have a bounty of food in my home and belly, keeping me nourished and healthy. I take for granted that I have a loving family (Kitteh included, of course!), that loves me unconditionally and is always there for me. I take for granted that I am physically capable of not only doing yoga, but also teaching it to others and spreading its' joy to the world. Starting today, and everyday, I will try to wake with a grateful heart; take note of all the wonderful things and people in my life, and truly take the time to be appreciative and grateful for every moment, every breath.

Om Shanti,
Z

Your Yoga

‎"Every culture has its' yoga. Everybody on the planet has their yoga. Meaning yoga is any form, any practice, any state of being that cultivates a unified consciousness."

Om Shanti,
Zoe

Open your heart.

"Live a full day with an open mind and an open heart and see what happens"
- Nadia Toraman

In honor of Valentine's Day, I will be incorporating a lot of heart openers into not only my personal practice, but in the class sequences I teach coming up. Some great examples of heart opening yoga poses are: Bhujangasana (Cobra), Kapotasana (King Pigeon),Urdhva Dhanurasana (Upward Bow), and Purvottanasana (Intense East Stretch). It is easy to close our hearts off from others, and hard to break down the walls we've built around our hearts to protect it from pain. Why not work a little harder this week on keeping your heart and mind open, letting the love from yourself and from others flow through you.
Om Shanti,
Zoe

There is always something to be thankful for.

What are you thankful for today?

Om Shanti,
Zoe

For the Love of Teaching

I taught my first Intro to Yoga class last night at Health Impact, and it really made me realize why I love teaching this beautiful thing called yoga. It was a small group of 8, but it was just what we all needed I think. We laughed, we joked, and we still found our zen. They were so fun and I know that I will look forward to my Monday night classes with them! I woke up this morning feeling pretty exhausted, like maybe I had emptied my prana bucket a little too fast and too soon, and was not so enthused about my Power Yoga class. But the second I walked through those gym doors and saw the 2 regulars that always show up on Tuesday mornings smiling at me and hilariously flexing their "yoga arms" at me, I knew that I could get through this hour and have a good time. I truly love what I do. I know it will be exhausting some days, I know I will run low on energy for probably as long as I teach, I know I won't be a millionaire doing this, but you know what? I will be happy! And that is absolutely all I could ever hope for in this lifetime. To be happy with and love what I do. My wish for all of you is that you will find what makes you happy and jump in heart first.
Om Shanti,
Zoe

Being a Pilgrim

"To journey without being changed is to be a nomad.
To change without journeying is to be a chameleon.
To journey, and to be transformed by the journey, is to be a pilgrim."
-Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

To be a pilgrim. That is how we all start. We set out with the intention of being totally consumed and transformed by an experience or a person. But that is so much easier said than done. When we listen to music, we find the piano and concentrate on that. Or we watch a movie and concentrate solely on one of the actors. Or we go on a run on a beautiful sunny day and are consumed only by the rhythm of our footsteps on the pavement. We do not hear the orchestra as a whole, or see every beautiful detail of the movie, or feel the warm sun beating on our skin and the cool breeze blowing in our hair. Today, I dare us all to experience the wholeness of life. Do not get tunnel vision. Do not forget about the little things. Be totally consumed by this beautiful journey called life, and be a pilgrim who is transformed by it in the most wonderful way possible.
Om Shanti,
Zoe